I Can Handle Complicated
by ZeroGain
Summary: Jack reflects on his feelings for Allison, his actions, and the events of episode S0410 - "Liftoff"  First episode of season 4.5  Tags: Romance, Humor, H/C


I CAN HANDLE COMPLICATED

_A/N: This spoils episode S04.10 – "Liftoff", please watch that first (presently available on SyFy's Rewind page.)_

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><p>I was still mulling over the day when she strode into Café Diem. She saw me right off, probably saw me from outside. I was sitting at the most prominent place of the Vincent's bar, and helping to finish off some of his 400-odd pigs-in-blankets that he'd prepared for this morning's canceled festivities. I hadn't eaten all day, and I was starving.<p>

To say it'd been a stressful day would be the mother of all understatements. A runaway artificial bride (kinda) and her robot groom left at the alter; an accidental rocket launch of an incomplete rocket manned by an accidental crew composed of the town's foremost physicist (even if he was something of a dick, still) and the Director of Global Dynamics, coupled with a town-wide power outage and the last minute struggles and usual frantic hijinks that accompanied saving lives in this place, and yeah, you get the picture.

And then the ride home from the landing pad... Fargo and Zane's pod had appeared in the middle of the "Catcher's Mitt" and we were suddenly faced with the prospect of a long walk back, no power, three horses and seven riders. So doubling up was the order of the day, with Henry and Grace staying behind to watch over Andy and drive their truck back down once they could make it work. Watching Fargo and Zane double-up on the way back was almost worth selling tickets to, after Jo insisted there was no way in hell she'd be riding with Zane.

But riding all the way back to G.D. with Allison sitting on the saddle in front of me, moving at a sedate pace? Yeah.

With all that, one thing had bugged me more than anything else. Well, a few things, but still. When I saw Allison it was our interaction earlier in the morning that was foremost in my mind. Well… No, the first thing in my mind when I saw her was "She's so beautiful", but after that it was the sinking feeling I'd had that jarring moment after the emergency hit when she'd immediately called me "Carter."

"Carter."

Damn.

Four years of that, and I'd finally bared my heart, set it all out on the table and her likewise, and we were back to "Carter" in an instant of honest stress… What did that mean? What did that say about what she thought about us? The weeks since our brush with Beverly Barlowe and her people had been a _lot_ of fun. Henry wasn't far off calling it a "honeymoon" of sorts. It turns out we'd both had a lot of energy, but… "Carter"?

I certainly hadn't helped things along after that. I'd been thinking about it all day, in the quiet moments. When I'd realized that Fargo and Zane were on the capsule I'd acted, without hesitation… without gathering the facts. I'd barged into mission control, demanded a few quick answers, and acted.

Yes, I'd been right, but so was she, I never gave her a chance to trust me, and I'd acted. It didn't matter that I'd been right. If Fargo hadn't thought fast and risked his own life then he, Zane, and all six crew members of the space station would be dead, and it would've been my fault.

What I'd done had been a violation of trust, and a lack of respect for her knowledge and her experience, not to mention everyone else in the room; but it was offending her that concerned me most.

I had two choices: I could pretend it never happened and move on with my anxieties in place, or I could deal with it. I'd had a few lessons since I became sheriff on dealing with my fears, so…

"Hey!" I called as she moved to take the seat next to me, casting that sultry smile that I've come to think of as my smile. It's the one she doesn't show anyone else, and it makes her glow.

"So, has the torch been passed?"

"Yes, all G.D. power is back where it belongs: with Fargo."

"Had to be fun though, being back in the big chair?" I asked. She'd taken to it so well it was awe inspiring. In the crisis I'm not sure how many people noticed how readily she did so. I too proud of her to be more than only vaguely concerned about keeping our cover.

It still disturbed me that Larry Haberman had the authority to help promote someone to temporary Directorship. Henry I got, but Haberman?

"Unh uh," she countered. "Running that place was a pain in my-" she paused as she settled on the seat and glanced at me with a smirk, "Neck."

It wasn't the neck that was hurting.

She obviously knew how to ride a horse, but it had just as obviously been a lot longer for her than it had for me. I'd learned on extreme back country hunting trips with a few friends in the Marshall's service, but I'd bet she'd learned as a teenager and hadn't refreshed her experience for several years.

It had sure been an… inspiring sight.

I couldn't help play back my jaunty commentary earlier in the evening where I'd promised to massage that ass for her…

"Need a hot bath… cowgirl?" I couldn't help play back the ride home...

She laughed, carefree. It was music.

"Mmm, that sounds good. Why don't you take me home, Jack?" she purred.

I considered her for a moment, and damn my mouth…

"So we're back to 'Jack' now?" The flirty, teasing expression fell and she looked up and away, and _still_ I had to keep on talking as she turned back to me. "I'm just keeping track. Is that- is that where we are?"

There, it was out. It'd been hanging around my neck all day long. Adrenaline, danger, excitement; all of that keeps this stuff at bay, but it never goes away. I don't know what I felt, I was building walls to avoid the hurt I somehow knew was coming, and yet hoping I was so very wrong.

"Okay, listen, if we're going to be working together and sleeping together, things are going to get complicated… Jack" and she graced me with that smile again.

I do not deserve her.

"I can handle complicated," I said, and I'm sure I was smiling at least a little.

Yes.

For her, I would handle complicated.

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><p><em>Disclaimer: I do not own "Eureka" or any of its properties, I am simply playing around in this universe for fun and personal edification, and my thanks to the creative folks at SyFy for allowing us fanfic folks to do this.<em>

_Author's Note: "Liftoff" could not have been better. Not only do we get more Eureka but it's sparked the creativity and writing spirit of my fellow Eurekans. I love seeing all of your new work!_

_I am, however, a sucker for the Jack/Allison ship (mostly because I have a total crush on Salli Richardson-Whitfield), and it seems all the rest of you are Jo/Zane shippers, so I figured for my most recent entry I'd give Jack a few extra words and reflect on the first episode of season 4.5._

_I love that they didn't take the easy out and have them immediately break up, but I still doubt that this season will be smooth sailing for them... le sigh…_

_I have started writing original fiction and posting it over at fictionpress. com/~ZeroGain . Please swing by and have a look if you're so inclined.  
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